Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

Can you explain the difference between being a conservative Republican and a liberal Democrat? Can you provide some examples of their ideologies?

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I don’t buy bullshit

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

Why does my best friend call me ugly and act like she’s joking, but today she looked at me and said “I wouldn’t lie to you”? What should I say back to her?

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I vibrated my dogs shock collar while it was eating my other dog’s food and now it won’t eat. How do I fix this problem?

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I understand how hurricane paths work

Why doesn't California have the tools, people, means to put out these fires even though they know there will be fires every year?

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

Are democrats eating crow?

I have complete contempt for fakery

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

What is the best case of “You just picked a fight with the wrong person” that you've witnessed?

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I have a reading level above third grade

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

Why do men like to suck another man’s dick?

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I can read

The human genome is stored on this tiny crystal disk, hoping future visitors will 'de-extinct' us - Earth.com

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I can count

How can I stop overthinking and take action more quickly?

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

What can I do to deal with disrespectful children?

I actually pay taxes

I see through liars

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

How did Kate Mulgrew feel about Jeri Ryan joining the cast of Star Trek: Voyager?

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I have complete contempt for traitorism

Does the Lil Wayne song ‘Lollipop’ refers to a Lollipop sweet or a metaphor?

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I don’t cotton to rapists

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee